Diary of An "It" Girl

“You won’t believe it, but I heard that our little Josie…” It was the voice of the Queen Bee herself: Victoria Reynolds. She was as beautiful as she was treacherous and her eyes made one hang on every word. The clique surrounded her, obviously entangled in their own curiosity for gossip. Their bubble gum colored lips and heavily applied eye makeup was all flawless. They were the “It” girl wannabes. They were always in the shadows of Victoria and her.

Josie stood in front of the lunch table and in front of their judging eyes. Her spot was still unoccupied to the left of Victoria, but she didn’t take it. The girls’ faces were awestruck as they turned, noticing her arrival. “What did you hear, Victoria?” she asked. The question flowed off her tongue like poison, a trick she had learned from Victoria herself. The knife wound in her back was nothing new, but it always hurt the same. Victoria was a gossiper, its queen. She always had the dirt on everyone and whether it was true or not, every student listened and believed until proven otherwise.

Victoria plastered a sickly, sweet smile on her face. Her thin lips spread, wrinkling the bottoms of her cheeks and her green eyes hid something far different from friendship. “Come sit with us, Jos.” Her hand patted the faded blue chair beside her.

“You know,” Josie began, her own eyes sweeping the table. “I think I would rather not.” She pushed her black ringlets out of her smoldering blue eyes. She pursed her lips. “Why won’t you just tell me what you heard?” She kept her head up and shoulders squared. The very reason she was an “It” girl was her determination and ability to stand up to Victoria when others failed. But they were far from similar. Victoria represented the sexy bitch that got everything she wanted. She was a con-artist and she was a professional manipulator. While she was straight up, honest, and stubborn. She tried to be nice to everyone that deserved it. No, she wasn’t an angel. What teenage girl was?
Of course, she knew Victoria gossiped. She knew all the horrible stories and rumors that could be spun in her mind and trickle out of her mouth. And she knew that she shouldn’t take it so personally, but she had had enough of it. She knew Victoria wanted to wear the title as if it were a tiara. She knew that Victoria was sick of competing with her, but her downward moral spiral was beginning to thoroughly piss Josie off. She couldn’t just stand there and let her reputation come into question.

All of the amusement washed out of Victoria’s features. The words wounded her like a bee sting as that smooth, honey-like voice stated, “You’re pregnant.”
Josie stared in disbelief at the girls before her. Victoria never ceased to amaze her. Her puckered lips jutted out further turning into a mocking pout. And those eyes… Those eyes were shooting poisonous darts at her right now. Josie claimed the spotlight; so, she gave her head a little shake and muttered, “Now where did you hear something like that?”

She was on top of the world. She had won over all the other girls. They looked curiously back to their leader, waiting on an explanation, but surprisingly Victoria didn’t falter. “Well, that’s what Randy told me.”

There was no hiding now. Victoria had gotten to her. Randy—her boyfriend—why had he mentioned something like that? It was obvious how fast leadership was handed back to the Queen Bee. Just the looks on their faces showed her. They were smug, and she was two seconds away from punching those smirks right off their plastic faces. She made her face into a look of disbelief, so confident that she was sure it would make Victoria doubt herself. She narrowed her eyes. “That is bullshit.”
They stared at each other for a moment. The intensity radiated throughout the entire cafeteria. They were receiving looks now. People were trying to get a better view of the battle. Then, Victoria tilted her head to the side. "Well, why don't we ask Randy." She smiled.

Josie turned around and found her boyfriend. He, as well as his own entourage, walked up behind her. Randy smiled at her and greeted the table. He went in for a kiss, but she turned her cheek. She imagined his boys exchanging glances behind him. "Babe," He glanced at her sideways. "What is it?"

Josie took her stance. This would either turn out very well or not at all. She took a deep breath and said, "Victoria, do you want to ask Randy about what you told me?" She tried to burn holes into her “best friend’s” cornea. She briefly imagined her in an eye patch but banished the image before it could detract from her serious demeanor.

Victoria plastered on her sickly sweet smile as Randy wrapped his arm around Josie’s shoulder. She moved closer to him: a unified barrier against Victoria's stupid and immature stings. "Randy, isn't it true that your missy is a little…" she cleared her throat and dropped her voice for dramatic purposes. "Pregnant?"

She felt Randy's arms tighten slightly around her. "No, Vicky. That's not what I said at all." Something about his voice was different. Something was off. Josie pulled away slightly to look at his face. Randy gulped audibly and continued. "I said you might be."
Josie was bewildered at the words that had escaped her boyfriend's mouth. She was ready for him to turn around and call her out for being a liar, but what he did was so much more severe. Their entire table, as well as the entire cafeteria had grown silent. The looks on the wannabes' were unmistakable. One thing was going through their minds: Could Victoria Reynolds, the "Queen Bee" of the senior class, really be... pregnant?

She turned to Randy. "How do you know that?"

He looked away from her. So, she repeated the question. Again, he didn't respond. Almost the entire cafeteria was staring with open mouths now. "Randy, did you cheat on me?" Even before the words rolled off her tongue she knew she would not like the answer.

His brown eyes found her and he nodded.
And as easy as that, Josie was back on the bottom. The only question that remained was who her company was.

Without thinking, she reeled her arm back and thrust it forward as hard as she could. It landed on target. His nose was crushed and blood streamed out and onto his God-like lips. "Jos!" He screamed. Blood had squeezed in between his teeth and he sputtered with it. "Josie, I didn't mean-"

"Actually," Josie began, cutting him off. "You did."

She turned to glare at Victoria, who was having enough issues dealing with her news. She looked as though she might actually cry. "And you." She let the word snap like a belt against flesh. "How dare you." Josie's face had twisted into an unattractive snarl, but emotions had overcome her. Savagery was all she felt. "You lying, conceited, fake bitch."

She turned on her heel and pushed past her audience. She knew the last word had stung worse than the others. No one called Victoria Reynolds a bitch, or any of it at all. Especially not her “best friend.”

The lockers blurred together a little as she clicked through the hallway in her new boots. They were Jessica Simpson. She took extra special care of herself this morning: she had perfected her curls and wore the outfit she had designed herself. She was in a short lilac sundress with her new black and buckled boots that clicked in the hallway: a great attention grabber. Her makeup was perfect. She had felt like Sophia Bush, and now...

"Josephine?" It was an unfamiliar voice, but nonetheless, she turned around.

"What?" Josie spat. She hadn't meant to sound impolite but she was just not in the mood.

"Uh," The boy looked down and held out the oversize black studded bag. His shaggy brown hair dropped into his eyes. "You, you left your p-purse."

"Oh." She smiled apologetically, taking the purse. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sna-"

"It's ok." He returned a shy smile and walked away.
Josie reluctantly turned back to her locker and dialed in the combination. Hitting the last mark, she tugged on the hunk of metal. Frustration hit her when it didn't budge. She fumbled with it. Again, it didn't unhook for her. Her hands were shaking down. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, just willing it to open. Why wouldn't it just give her a break? Seriously, after the morning she had been through? She gave a final tug and it swung open easily; books created a waterfall out of the depths.

"Do you want some help?" It was the same voice, but it was much further away now. She looked up, meeting the same emerald eyes as before. She shook her head and dropped to her knees.

You are stronger than this, Josie, she told herself sternly. What would Momma think if she saw you like this? You are a pathetic excuse for her daughter. Man up. The scolding continued inside her head and her hands just sat useless in her lap. The firm pep talks were futile.

A hand appeared on the ground, and knees bent beside her. Rough calloused hands held out her physics book. "I know you don't need me to help, but I-" his voice trailed off, unable to find a good excuse. She brought her eyes up to meet his. They were calming and cautious. Even a little sadness was hidden behind the brilliance. He tucked in his lips briefly and smiled.

"Thank you," she said mustering a strong voice. She faced him head on. "I can manage from here."

She brought her chin up, letting her pride show through. She stood up with the books in her hands. Her grip slipped slightly and her expression faltered with it. She grimaced but struggled to banish it from her face. She was a strong and able woman. She was.

He chuckled under his breath and slipped the last notebook on top of her pile. "Suit yourself." And with that said, he turned from her and walked away. She was alone again and let out a sigh, not of relief, but of acceptance.
The bell signaled the end of lunch, and she hurriedly closed her locker. Randy could be seen coming toward her. Fast and Furious with blood staining his face. She kept her chin up and put her back against the locker. She was ready.

"Listen, Jos..."

She bit her bottom lip, immediately tasting chap stick on her tongue. She took a deep breath, pursed her lips, and stared him straight in the eyes: the look of annoyance and anger. Different scenarios of revenge ran flashed through her head. But unfortunately, she had to push them away. This was not the time to be planning. She would save that for later.

"What do you want?" She jutted her head sideways, almost resembling a bobble-head. "As far as we are concerned, there is nothing you can say to fix this."

He looked taken aback. Nonetheless, he kept with his speech. "Josie, I love you."

She laughed at him. "Are you kidding me?" She looked away, shaking her head. "Randy, you don't love me, and I most certainly do not love you. Don't play that with me." This statement drew a lot of "ohs" from the now approaching posse of jocks. She was feeding off the energy.

"Now, if you don't mind, I need to go to class." She pushed away from the locker, him, and the group. Then, when she knew she wasn't being watched, she let a tear fall and had to push that away, too.